Tired of being pranked by a seven-year-old Steve Austin, Vince McMahon calls it quits and decides to pursue his childhood dream of becoming an astronaut in “A Family McMahon” episode of Camp WWE (Season 1, Episode 5).
With Vince gone, his daughter Stephanie takes over the camp and gets the campers to collectively ignore Steve Austin. The plan works and Austin finds himself missing McMahon so much he hunts him down to bring him back.
In just two days, McMahon has become an astronaut and is living in the suburbs with a woman named Fran and her son, who refers to him as “new dad.”
When Austin pays a visit to the suburbs, he admits to Vince that he’s nothing without him. “It’s been hell without you,” he tells Vince. “Who am I if not the tormentor of Vince McMahon,” he later says, drowning his sorrows in a beer at a local bar.
When he gets kicked out of the bar for being seven instead of eight, Steve Austin comes up with a new plan to get Vince back. He tells Fran that Vince is in the only adult in an all-child fight club.
“It’s not even the fact you’re in an all-child fight club; we’ve all been there,” Fran says, before kicking Vince out. “It’s that you kept it a secret.”
Once on the bus back to camp – driven by Lex Luger – McMahon reveals that it had all been a ruse so he could re-carpet Steve Austin’s cabin.
Meanwhile back at camp, Nikki asks Bray Wyatt to the dance on a dare and then angers her date when he overhears her talking to Paige and Brie about his smell. To get even, Wyatt pulls a True Detective season 1 with a super creepy ritualistic stunt. When Nikki shows up, she puts a stop to the whole thing with an apology.
“Even though you may smell like the president of Ass Island, I’m the one who stinks,” she tells Bray.
With that, Cena cranks up the gangsta rap and Nikki and Bray dance.
-When Vince’s daughter suggests he ignore Steve Austin, Vince tells her “He’s not one of those hippies with a clipboard hanging outside Whole Foods, it’s Steve bloody Austin.”
-Brie Bella describes Bray Wyatt’s smell as “Lollapalooza crossed with Coachella at Burning Man in New Orleans.”
-I’m pretty sure they made McMahon an astronaut just so he could say “One small step for man, one giant step for McMahon kind.”
-McMahon reads his “new son” Lester the book I’ve Probably Killed 200 People: The Rupert Murdoch Story before bedtime.